Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
