i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
