In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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