wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize