69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
