We're like a lot better than the average bears
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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