Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
