Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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