Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
