i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize