just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
