ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
