at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
