Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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