I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
