Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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