you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
