Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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