Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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