You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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