Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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