dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i now understand why vodka
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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