He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?