I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
