Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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