Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
