last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize