And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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