a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
