guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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