Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
