Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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