the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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