I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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