We're facebook friends in real life
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
