the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
