hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Drunk is not a location!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
