It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
