i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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