My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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