i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
