Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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