i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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