Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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