Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
