I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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