he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
