I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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