You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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