I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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