can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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