Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
