I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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