$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
