Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
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