i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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