What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
