Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
