so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
