my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i think i have herpe
just one?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
