You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize