Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
