i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
