I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
