You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
