i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
